Driveability
Well, I didn't lose any weight from last year. Which once again left me uniquely qualified to manage the Driveability portion. No one else is bound to be as humiliated squeezing into cars with bizarre roll cages and seats built for the narrow asses of bulimic teenage girls.
My job was to assess the competitors under the stressful condition of moving my wallowing mass from A to B without overheating, scraping off a few dozen vital components, shattering my ear drums, stalling at every light, or baking my blubber. It's easy to tune a car for wide open throttle, but making sure a car that's awesome at WOT is civil just off idle is something else altogether.
Keeping the Audi S4 out of boost saw it function essentially as a new Audi should: smooth-riding, quiet and comfortable. About the only things to be said against it was that the shifter was slightly vague (like many Audis) and the A/C didn't function.
An eyelash behind the S4 was Ed Reeser's G35 coupe. Like the S4, the trick with this Infiniti was staying out of boost-do that and it pokes along and glides like a Buick with a radar lock on the early bird special at Denny's. And the A/C blew cold. The only problems were chatter from the LSD on corners and compromised rear vision.
Jacko Luong's Skyline GT-R was the nicest driving Skyline I've ever driven. However, the clutch take-up was somewhat inconsistent and the exhaust would set into a roaring thunder at part-throttle, sure to drive anyone nuts during a long trip.
Narrow seats, a relatively harsh ride and a nose that would scrape going over a dime kept Steve Ruiz's Corvette Z06 from doing better. But otherwise, this car had a great shifter, neat clutch and brakes that, once used to them, could stop Congressional pork barrel spending.
Considering the 110,000 miles on its odometer, that Ryan Hawkin's Supra felt as solid as a beryllium ingot counts as a minor miracle. The A/C worked, but the ride was rugged and the wide tires tramlined on the grooves cut into California's concrete freeways. Plus, the steering was relatively heavy and visibility was a challenge.
Put an engine where the back seat of a car once was and, no surprise, the result is noise. Dave Dunn's mid-engine Integra is a marvel of backyard engineering, but a bit rough in how it rides (in particular, some impact harshness in the rear suspension). By the way, there was room for another whole engine in the front of this car... wouldn't that have been wicked?
There was no way my butt was getting into the driver's seat of the Blacktrax LS1 V8-powered 300ZX. And from where I sat (uncomfortably), there wasn't much in the way of rearward visibility either. It tied with PDX Tuning's WRX STI, which was raspy, rorty and pretty much uncivilized.
As one of the few judges at the USCC older than the 1969 BMW 2002, I was probably one of the few who fully appreciated the ancient styling and yesteryear driving dynamics. But while the engine transplant was delicious, the cams kept the car from idling peacefully, the manual steering was a chore at low speeds (but perfect at speed), the wind noise was horrific, and clutch take-up was too sudden.
Finally, there's Mike Kim's Ariel Atom. Forget for a moment the lack of any concessions towards practicality and consider the nightmare of getting along without things like self-canceling turn signals or a windshield. Any car that requires wearing a helmet to keep out the bugs isn't a real street car.
-John Pearley Huffman
If you thought Huffman was picky, just wait until you see what came after. The cars were then judged on comfort, image, and whatever else she decided to pick at. Yes, it's time for everyone's favorite Girlfriend contest. By day, our Girlfriend, Jackie Liu, is a respected and knowledgeable automotive journalist. But, once a year, she hoochies up for us. And when she does, watch out.