Mitsubishi Bozz Speed Lancer EVO VI

Imagine an atomic submarine lurking in the midst of a dozen recreational paddle boats. Or a ravenous, steroid-jacked Cheetah prowling within the small fenced enclosure of a chicken farm. These are the images that were swimming in my head by the end of our testing day and after an afternoon of driving time in the Bozz Speed Lancer EVO VI.

What else could I possibly say that could properly convey the staggering performance this car is capable of? Perhaps I should start off by noting that it runs more boost than all three of my project cars (RX-7, Impreza and Miata) combined. Then, I should address the fact that, despite weighing more than 3,000 lbs, it manages to pull a rib-bending 0.99g on the skidpad. Of course, I should follow that up with the fact that it continued to defy expectations by pulling even more gs during acceleration (a remarkable 1.07g, to be exact). As if that was not enough, the Lancer sustained its reign of dominance by setting a new, all-time slalom speed record of a blistering 72.5mph. Got the picture yet?

Of course, like a New York City mugging, all that performance came with the subtlety of an army boot to the head. With the exception of a full seven-point chrome-moly roll cage and a slew of colorful decals, there was little to indicate the car's true potential. Other than, of course, the presence of the quiet Japanese-speaking Bozz Chief Mechanic and Tuner, Akira Nakaarai, who traveled all the way from Misato, Japan to make sure the car performed to its fullest potential. And what potential that turned out to be. My first experience in the Lancer was not that of a driver, but a passenger as Nakaarai San ran it through its paces. With a tank of 110 octane fuel, we rolled through the paddock and on to the main straight, which extended for just more than a quarter mile before turning sharply left into "Zero's Corner," a zig-zag series of low-speed bends that connects the two sides of the track. Loafing along in first gear at 10 mph, the chassis throbs in sympathy with the exhaust pulses that fill the cabin. As Nakaarai San dug his foot deeper into the throttle, the throbbing subsides, only to be replaced with a strange silence unbefitting of a car of this nature. Moments later, the big Garrett turbo spools and the proverbial storm hits. And, like an F5-scale tornado, it hits hard. Hard enough to make me question whether I'm still in the hotel room, sound asleep, trapped in a red-misted dream that only a twisted car enthusiast can conjure.

As the boost pegs itself at 2 bar (yes, that's nearly 30 psi of boost), the rev limit hits hard and sends my neck tumbling forward like a plastic bag full of oranges. Nakaarai San immediately grabs second gear, thrusting my skull backward into the headrest where it remains for the 0.97 seconds needed to reach fuel cut again. Up-shift again. Through third gear, the Lancer accelerates with what feels like the same unbridled tenacity exhibited during the first two gears. Only this gear is dispatched with in 2.1 seconds.

By now, the car is traveling at 82 mph with what appears to be no end in sight. Not knowing how to react to the sensory overload, I erupt in hysterical laughter. Fourth gear comes and goes in just more than 4 seconds with the Lancer hitting 115 mph. The laughter subsides and I begin looking for my helmet. The "Ride of Terror" continued as Nakaarai San slams on the binders, sending all four R-compound tires into a screeching symphony. After a flurry of lightning-quick downshifts, Nakaarai San flicks the car right, then left towards Zero's Corner. Dialing-in a gob of opposite lock, he stands on the throttle, looks out the side-view mirror and invokes what I have only experienced within the realm of video gaming--a lurid, all-wheel-drive power slide that lasts not one, not two, but nearly three seconds. Amazingly enough, the car responded with startling grace, wagging through the tight corners with a cornering attitude that defies real-world physics.

Right about then, I begin to notice the pungent aroma of burning transmission fluid. (The distinctive perfume lasted all day, culminating at the end of the day with a catastrophic transmission failure during our standing-start acceleration testing. I'm just happy it didn't give during the times I was behind the wheel.)

A cursory review of the Lancer's straight-line performance data doesn't begin to explain its true potential. Mate a 500-plus hp engine to an otherwise stock transmission and you have the recipe for disaster. Fortunately enough, the disaster was delayed, by gentle clutch and shifter jockeying, until the end of the testing day--after we had already achieved a clean (and much-anticipated) quarter-mile pass.

Since the transmission was the obvious weak link in the equation, Nakaarai San launched the Lancer with maternal gentleness (explaining the Miata-like 0 to 30 mph), a whopping 1.3 seconds behind that of the R34 Skyline. Add in a third-to-fourth gear up-shift that takes nearly one full second to execute, and you end up with a quarter-mile ET of 12.4 seconds, 0.1 slower than the Nissan.

However, our test data reveals that the EVO reaches 112 mph in just 10.4 seconds--nearly 2 whole seconds earlier than the super-Skyline! Equipped with a sturdier transmission that allowed more aggressive launching and shifting, our test data also suggests the EVO could break deeply into the 11s. "Big deal," you say, in light of the numerous Honda drag cars that have posted similar ETs. But how many of those turbocharged Civics can rip through our Buttonwillow road course in just 51.21 seconds, a resounding 2.59 seconds faster than the nearest Skyline?

Any car that can make a 400-hp R34 feel slow by comparison deserves some serious respect. And that's exactly what we gave it as it rolled away into the dark night, on top of the same trailer it arrived upon. Broken or not, the Bozz Speed Lancer redefines what we have learned to expect from a "streetable" road car; we have yet to test any other vehicle that could concoct such a mind-numbing mix of ferocious acceleration and record-breaking handling. Let it be said that a new benchmark has been set. I'm just happy to have been along for the wild ride.