I'm not sure which is worse, Americans' lack of personal responsibility or the ambulance-chasing jackholes who promote it. Doesn't matter. I can't stand either.
Now those same ambulance chasers have figured out how to dismiss car manufacturers from any responsibility related to the parts they build; they put a disclaimer on everything. They even figure this excuses them from building parts that work right and fit well.
Every car company is guilty of this, but the best example I've run across is the Subaru Performance Tuning exhaust we tested recently on our WRX project car, which, don't misunderstand, fit well, sounds great and made power.
Stuck to the box the exhaust came in was a decal explaining exactly how "not responsible" the manufacturer can be. For your perusal, I offer a translation of this flaming BS into the truth.
Lawyer Speak"All Subaru parts are sold 'as is' and without any warranty of any kind."
The TruthYou're screwed if our exhaust breaks, fits poorly or simply sucks.
Lawyer Speak"All implied warranties, including all warranties of merchantability of fitness for a particular purpose are excluded."
The Truth Just making sure you understand how screwed you really are. We're not kidding.
Lawyer Speak"Purchaser acknowledges that vehicles equipped with these parts must not be operated on public highways since such operation may be unlawful. These performance parts are intended solely for use on vehicles participating in off highway competitive events."
The TruthWe're covering our corporate asses just in case we're sued by another corporation with lawyers as big and powerful as ours. Bear with us, we're getting to the important part. You're screwed.
Lawyer Speak"Purchaser acknowledges that all Subaru vehicles and parts and accessories warranties are voided if the vehicle is used in a competitive event."
The TruthHere's the important part: There's no way any failure could ever be our fault. You're screwed.
Lawyer Speak"Purchaser also acknowledges that there will be no warranty coverage for any part or accessory that fails as a result of the installation of a Subaru performance part."
The TruthIf your speedometer stops working, Subaru won't repair it under warranty and will blame the malfunction on our exhaust, which you bought after we told you we don't stand by it. Did we mention you're screwed?
Lawyer Speak"This Subaru performance part has been designed and is intended for off highway application only."
The TruthAlthough we're fully aware everyone will use this part on the street, we're going to patronize you anyway. Please keep reading.
Lawyer Speak"Installation of this part on a vehicle intended for use on public roads may violate state or federal laws and regulations including those relating to emissions requirements and motor vehicle safety standards."
The TruthEven though this exhaust has no bearing on your vehicle's emissions and can't possibly break any laws, it's our job as corporate lawyers to worry. A lot.
Lawyer Speak"Federal and many state laws prohibit the removal, modification or rending inoperative of any part or vehicle system affecting emissions or safety. Violations may result in a fine up to $10,000."
The TruthTaking off a catalytic converter is against the law. Removing your WRX's seatbelts is dangerous. Using our exhaust won't affect either one, but if it does and you get fined you can't blame us.
It's a shame lawyers are so afraid of a part that makes power, looks nice and should sell well.
It wouldn't surprise us if the same jokers who write this nonsense won't let Subaru's PR department allow us to test an STi suspension on our Project WRX. The lawyers win. The enthusiasts lose. I give up.